教育就是善意的干預。在我們的成長過程中時常會面對來自父母或老師的提醒與批評,有的同學不理解,有的甚至會有過激的反應。

(二十三)【2020 •山西省】
十、書面表達 請將短文寫在答題卡相應的位置上。

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教育就是善意的干預。在我們的成長過程中時常會面對來自父母或老師的提醒與批評,有的同學不理解,有的甚至會有過激的反應。如何客觀、冷靜地對待這種問題,需要我們認真、理性地思考,并做出合理應對,這正是教育要達到的目的。
請針對以上現象,結合生活中的經歷,寫一篇短文。
內容包括:
1. Your opinion about this phenomenon (現象)
2. An experience you had/heard/saw
3. What you have learned from it
要求:
1. 詞數不少于80詞;
2. 參考詞匯僅供參考;
3. 文中不得出現真實的人名、校名。


remind v.提醒    criticize v.批評    objective adj.客觀的    calm adj.冷靜的    reasonable adj.理性的

 

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寫作思路
這是一篇材料作文。要求針對我們成長過程中,面對來自父母或老師的提醒與批評,有的同學不理解,有的甚至會有過激的反應這一現象,結合生活中的經歷,寫一篇短文,短文要求包含對這一現象的感想,自己所看或所聽到的事情,從中學到的道理。
參考范文
As far as I'm concerned, it is of great importance to stay calm and reasonable when our parents and teachers blame or criticize us, which is beneficial for our lifelong development.
I still remember the day that I had an English class. Seeing Li Ming falling asleep, our teacher, Miss Hu, woke him up and reminded him to listen to her carefully. To my surprise, Li Ming rushed out of the classroom without permission. It was so impolite and rude to do so. Later, I talked with him and he realized that the teacher expected to help him develop a good habit and he wasn't so calm at that time. Therefore, he picked up his courage and said sorry to Miss Hu in front of the whole class.
It's a good idea to keep calm and think about it for a moment whenever being blamed or criticized. Sometimes a small change of yourself may lead to a big difference to your life.
【名師點評】
例文點評:例文包含了所有要點,主要以第一、三人稱為主,用一般現在時和一般過去時來寫,在講述自己所見所聞的事情時用一般過去時;內容包含三部分:第一部分開篇點題,談出了自己對這一現象的看法;第二部分講述自己所見所聞的事情;第三部分講了自己從中學到了什么。本文時態使用正確,表達有條理,語句通順,意思連貫,使用了一些固定句式。
高分亮點:
短語:of great importance;be beneficial for;fall asleep;wake sb up;to one’s surprise;without permission;develop a good habit;pick up one’s courage;say sorry to sb;in front of;the whole class;lead to。
句型:①方式狀語從句、時間狀語從句 As far as I'm concerned, it is of great importance to stay calm and reasonable when our parents and teachers blame or criticize us.
②定語從句 I still remember the day that I had an English class.
③賓語從句 he realized that the teacher expected to help him develop a good habit.

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